Fantasy is often praised (and I’d say quite deservedly), but this was a misstep. I was in the mood for a young, slender brunette. Diana was available at Fantasy, and the reviews seemed decent, so I hurried over. Either we just didn’t click, or for those of you who left smiling emojis, seeing a young, fairly attractive girl is enough to make you happy. That’s about the extent of what Diana offered me, but let’s go through it step by step.
The location is already notoriously known near the bus stop. I waited a moment after ringing the bell and saw an old man pacing around and eyeing me hungrily through the glass door. I bet he knew what was up, and maybe he slipped in behind another masseuse a minute after me, but that’s just something we have to expect.
The basement’s metal door is opened by a Ukrainian woman. A common occurrence in this line of work. She shook my hand like a limp fish, with a vacant expression. Normally, I’d sense trouble, but other reviews mentioned that the first impression is rather lukewarm. She seemed annoyed that someone was bothering her and quite nervous, like a beginner. I was her first client of the day, so she couldn’t have been tired from the previous ones.
We head to the room, a sort of basement cubicle, nothing to write home about. She hands me the obligatory menu to choose from. I try to keep the conversation going, joking around. I ask what kind of massage she likes. She points to the mixed massage. I say, let’s go with that. I lose interest in the pussycat option when the girl is as cold as a dog’s nose.
I ask if the morning happy hour is still valid. She nods yes. I pay, undress, and she leaves to prepare. I didn’t even get the chance to pretend I wanted to shower with her, as she dashed off. After freshening up, I waited several minutes on the mattress, which is also part of the local routine. I must say, without any fuss, she brought back change after I gave her a larger bill, which earned her some points. She removed the towel, and her figure was just my type, a backside that I could imagine doing many things with, smaller breasts, which didn’t bother me at all, and beautiful perky nipples. Yeah, she’s got a great body, but that’s where the positives end.
Her face is quite ordinary, I’d say, and her lips are definitely plumped up. Again, completely unnecessary, as it usually detracts from a girl’s appearance. This is one of those cases.
I lie on my stomach, and she starts a bit of conversation too. We speak in Czech, although her Czech is quite broken. And gradually, I start to get bored. I suspect she owns a massage oil company because she drenched me unbelievably, which I can’t stand. I prefer less oil rather than more.
The massage itself? I haven’t been this bored in a long time. She massages the shoulder blades with her elbows. She really indulges in calf massages. Why? Obviously, she’s kneeling by my ankles so I can’t touch her. She’s doing everything to endure it with the least “losses” possible. Then she pours oil on herself and goes for the “body2body.” She’s a petite girl, but she just doesn’t have the knack for it, and it hurt. Normally, I don’t mind when a girl 15 kg heavier lies on me, but this was a disaster. When someone runs their knee down your spine, it’s not exactly a thrilling experience. Her body is great, I’m looking at her arched back in the mirror, but my soldier down there just isn’t responding to the sterile atmosphere and her expression that screams she’d rather be anywhere else. It’s a nightmare.
After turning over, I hoped for some action. She poured oil all over me, which she’s best at, and instead of starting with body2body from the front or anything remotely erotic, she started gently stroking my chest while kneeling beside me, but far enough that she could barely reach me. If she brushed against my penis for a total of five seconds, that would be a lot.
After about thirty minutes of suffering, I ended it, even though I had paid for an hour. I told her I was done, that I wasn’t enjoying it, and got up. She looked utterly confused and said, “What?” I repeated myself. Oh, and she had told me at the start of the massage that she’s been doing this for three years. She seemed like she started last week and wasn’t into it at all. She got offended, probably not expecting anyone to have the guts to get up and leave. I went to the shower, quickly threw on my clothes, and in my head, I was angry that I fell into another trap. I didn’t bother negotiating for a partial refund. I just wasn’t in the mood, and I left without saying goodbye.
This was really a no-go. I’m surprised a girl with such an attitude can survive in Prague, where the competition is fierce. Maybe I just wasn’t her type physically, which happens, but I don’t believe she’s capable of turning it around. It’s just not in her. That’s my opinion. Either a masseuse enjoys her work and makes an effort even if the client isn’t exactly a sex symbol, or she’s just in it for the money, and it ends up like this.
Massage name: Erotic Mix
Duration: 1 hour
Price: 2000 CZK
